


Sugar Words

by girlwhowritesbad9



Category: GOT7
Genre: M/M, Please Don't Hate Me, establishING yugbam, established jjp, established markjae, i am soz, i really wanted to try doing this okay, kind of, lol i just added markjae and yugbam, okay it's jinyoung not jr, this is a mess, this is cliche but fun so pls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-09-16 21:32:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 6,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9290450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlwhowritesbad9/pseuds/girlwhowritesbad9
Summary: What better way to be domestic than texting?





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> It's a fanfiction where JJP interact in a very cheesy way with very bad jokes and puns. This HAS NO PLOT. I just wanted to do it cause I've read quite a few fics like this and they seemed fun.  
> Also I am a sucker for domestic/cheesy JJP texting.  
> I am sorry in advance if this is a mess. Actually this is going to be a mess. I am sorry but I wanted to try doing this. This will have no smut (it's literally texting but hey sexting is a thing I might consider doing and give myself second hand embarrassment) but I am rating it "M" for the language and sexual references. (and it might have sexting in the future, no promises)

Jaebumiie/2:58AM: where are the soaps?  
Jinyoungiie not jr/2:58AM: in the cabinet, where they always are

Jaebumiie/2:59AM: they aren’t there  
Jinyoungiie not jr/2:59AM: what do you mean? i filled them this morning

Jaebumiie/2:59AM: well they aren’t there now jinyoung

Jinyoungiie not jr/3:00AM: are you SAYING I AM LYING???

Jaebumiie/3:00AM: WTF NO! I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHERE THE SOAPS ARE!

 

Jinyoungiie not jr/3:01AM: well it’s like 3am why the fuck are you taking shower rn anyways?

 

Jaebumiie/3:02AM: hey don’t talk to me like that

Jinyoungiie not jr/3:02: why not hyung?

Jaebumiie/3:03AM: just get me some soap ffs 

 

Jinyoungiie not jr/3:04AM: nah, i don’t feel like getting up from under the warm blanket

 

Jaebumiie/3:04AM: oh cOME ON

 

Jinyoungiie not jr/3:05AM: open the door, i saw a soap under the rug a few days ago. it might still be here.

 

Jaebumiie/3:07AM: thanks for leaving the soap here

Jinyoungiie not jr/3:07AM: i didn’t, it was there from the beginning.

Jaebumiie/3:08AM: sure, make space I am joining you in bed.


	2. Two

Jinyoungiie not jr/4:55PM: have you seen jackson?  
Jaebumiie/4:56PM: why not text him?

Jinyoungiie not jr/4:56PM: well i am trying and he isn’t picking up my calls

Jaebumiie/4:57PM: didn’t he have some schedule?

Jinyoungiie not jr/4:57PM: oh, okay

 

Jaebumiie/4:58PM: Jinyoung, there are so many other good friends to hang out with. I know jackson is your best friend but you can’t ALWAYS be around him

Jinyoungiie not jr/4:59PM: speak for yourself. Mark hyung is busy with Youngjae and coco, Yugyeom and bambam are out. You’re not an option.

Jaebumiie/4:59PM: why am i not an option? and i meant people apart from anyone in got7

Jinyoungiie not jr/5:00PM: you’re at the studio. you’re working. I don’t want to bother you

Jaebumiie/5:01pm: why don’t you come over at the studio?

Jinyoungiie not jr/5:01PM: no  
Jaebumiie/5:01PM: yes

Jinyoungiie not jr/5:02PM: no  
Jaebumiie/5:02PM: yes

Jinyoungiie not jr/5:05PM: curly fries or onion rings?  
Jaebumiie/5:06PM: both and muffins

Jinyoungiie not jr/5:06PM: no need, I am sweet enough  
Jaebumiie/5:07PM: ISTG you need to stop hanging out with jackson

Jinyoungiie not jr/5:08PM: <3 see you in a few  
Jaebumiie/5:08PM: <3 waiting


	3. Three

Jaebumiieiie/3:45PM: it’s friday the 13th today

Jinyoungiie not jr/3:50PM: do you believe in all of that?

Jaebumiie/3:51PM: no

Jinyoungiie not jr/3:52PM: very convincing 

Jaebumiie/3:53PM: IF IT’S IN THE LEGENDS SOME OF IT MIGHT BE TRUE WHERE THERE IS SMOKE THERE IS FIRE

Jinyoungiie not jr/3:54PM: it’s all just spooks

Jaebumiie/3:54PM: THE LEGENDS (and don't you mean smokes?) 

Jinyoungiie not jr/3:55PM: what do you fear will happen?

Jaebumiie/3:56PM: we’ll die (stop ignoring my puns)

Jinyoungiie not jr3/56PM: and?

Jaebumiie/3:57PM: please chill

Jinyoungiie not jr/3:58PM: nothing will happen

Jaebumiie/3:58PM: okay but what if it does?

Jinyoungiie not jr/3:59PM: we’ll see then

Jaebumiie/4:00PM: okay.

Jaebumiie/4:10PM: do you want to stay with me the whole day? 

Jinyoungiie not jr/4:11PM: shouldn’t I be asking that?

Jaebumiie/4:12PM: no

Jinyoungiie not jr/4:13PM: are you looking for an excuse to be with me?

Jaebumiie/4:14PM: no

Jinyoungiie not jr/4:15PM: okay then

Jaebumiie/4:15PM: I MEANT YES

Jinyoungiie not jr/4:17PM: almost there <3


	4. Four

Jaebumiie/6:55PM: your son kim yugyeom ate my chicken fries again

Jinyoungiie not jr/6:59PM: mY SON? weren’t you saying yugyeom is youR second favorite son?

Jaebumiie/7:00PM: well he ate my chicken so he is no longer my son

Jinyoungiie not jr/7:00PM: you sure he ate it? could’ve been bambam again

Jaebumiie/7:01PM: yeah well I saw him eating it this time

Jinyoungiie not jr/7:02PM: just buy yourself more LEADER

Jaebumiie/7:03PM: you don’t understand do you?

Jinyoungiie not jr/7:03PM: i’ve begun to roll my eyes

Jaebumiie/7:04PM: it’s cHICKEN

Jinyoungiie not jr/7:05PM: and?

Jaebumiie/7:05PM: no one in this family gets me

Jinyoungiie not jr/7:07PM: want me to make you some at home?

Jaebumiie/7:07PM: ...you’re going to cook?

Jinyoungiie not jr/7:08PM: well since you don’t want me to i won’t

Jaebumiie/7:08PM: no that’s not it Jinyoung, i’d love anything you make but last time one of us went to the kitchen the dorm was almost in flames

Jinyoungiie not jr/7:08PM: plan b, make yugyeom buy us some

Jaebumiie/7:09PM: “us” now?

Jinyoungiie not jr/7:09PM: shut up

Jaebumiie/7:10PM: on it


	5. Five

wang pup/8:55PM: ARE YOU TWO ON A DATE WITHOUT ME?

Jaebumiie/8:58PM: we’re just at starbucks getting some coffee

Jinyoungiie not jr/8:59PM: if it’s a date, why should we take you?

wang pup/9:00PM: i am the biggest enthusiast of JJP other than Kim Yugyeom thank you very much

Jaebumiie/9:00PM: we don’t need a fanboy around

Jinyoungiie not jr/9:01PM: want us to bring you something?

wang pup/9:02PM: bring me back my will to live which i have lost because my parents did not take me out to starbucks

Jinyoungiie not jr/9:03PM: how about cheese ramen?

wang pup/9:03PM: i aM BACK AND ALIVE

Jaebumiie/9:04PM: why are you so easy?

Jinyoungiie not jr/9:05PM: why are you so hard?

wang pup/9:05PM: ;) ooohhhhh

Jaebumiie/9:06PM: bye

 

PART TWO (Bonus)

 

Jaebumiie/2:25AM: if i am good at puns, am i funny or PUnny?

Jinyoungiie not jr/2:29AM: hyung it’s 2:30 in the morning

Jaebumiie/2:30AM: but what am i?

Jinyoungiie not jr/2:30AM: an idiot


	6. Six

wang pup/5:55PM: has anyone seen train to busan yet?

Jaebumiie/5:55PM: i did, it was a train wreck of emotions.

Jinyoungiie not jr/5:57PM: ....

coco’s dad/5:58PM: fuck I was about to make that pun

Jaebumiie/5:58PM: HA i win

wang pup/5:59PM: i need a new set of friends

Jinyoungiie not jr/6:00PM: you have more friends than we have fans

Jaebumiie/6:01PM: did you go to the sea this morning, Jinyoung?

Jinyoungiie not jr/6:01PM: ??? wtf? why?

Jaebumiie/6:02PM: cause you’re really SALTY

coco’s dad/6:03PM: SHIT THAT WAS GOOD

Jinyoungiie not jr/6:04PM: i am leaving this group

wang pup/6:04PM: count me in

yugyeom/6:08PM: has anyone seen bambam?

Jaebumiie/6:09PM: how dare you ignore my puns???

wang pup/6:10PM: they aren’t that PUnny

coco’s dad/6:11PM: that was the shittiest pun ever

Jinyoungiie not jr/6:11PM: i expected better from you

wang pup/6:12PM: i hate everyone

yugyeom/6:13PM: HASANYONE SEEN BAMBAM???? I HAVEN’T SEEN HIM SINCE MORNING!!!

wang pup/6:14PM: calm down lover boy

Jaebumiie/6:16PM: he’s out at the salon, his hair seemed to be dYing from all the DYE spray.

Jinyoungiie not jr/6:17PM: we’re getting a divorce 

Jaebumiie/6:17PM: i am sorry, i’ll never make puns.

Jinyoungiie not jr/6:18PM: well isn’t that a pity

wang pup/6:18PM: teaCH ME YOUR WAYS SENPAI


	7. Seven

Jinyoungiie not jr/6:30PM: i don’t feel like moving

Jaebumiie/6:31PM: same, i want to just lay around watching shit tv shows, for days

Jinyoungiie not jr/6:32PM: not all tv shows are shit

Jaebumiie/6:32PM: the one’s you act in definitely aren’t

Jinyoungiie not jr/6:33PM: ....why are you like this?

Jaebumiie/6:34PM: want to do that tonight?

Jinyoungiie not jr/6:34PM: the kids are home

Jaebumiie/6:35PM: thAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT! lay around and watch tv with a tub of ice-cream?

Jinyoungiie not jr/6:46PM: yeah, sounds nice. we can netflix and chill.

Jaebumiie/6:47PM: we’ll just netflix and ice-cream

Jinyoungiie not jr/6:47PM: i mean if that’s what your kink is...

Jaebumiie/6:48PM: PARK JINYOUNG!

Jinyoungiie not jr/6:48PM: <3 see you tonight

Jaebumiie/6:50PM: <3


	8. Eight

Jaebumiie/2:00PM: have you seen my cookies?

Jinyoungiie not jr/2:01PM: really? how will i know where your cookies are?

Jaebumiie/2:01PM: you know everything

Jinyoungiie not jr/2:02PM: in the left cupboard next to the ramens 

Jaebumiie/2:03PM: ....

Jinyoungiie not jr/2:04PM: what?

Jaebumiie/2:05PM: they aren’t here

Jinyoungiie not jr/2:06PM: OH FFS! where the fuck are things disappearing to? 

Jaebumiie/2:06PM: not sure about the soap but i think one of the cheeky fuckers ate my cookies

Jinyoungiie not jr/2:07PM what kind of cookies where they?

Jaebumiie/2:09PM: chocolate chip

Jinyoungiie not jr/2:10PM: case solved

Jaebumiie/2:10PM: okay i doubt it’s yugyeom this time

Jinyoungiie not jr/2:11PM: jackson?

Jaebumiie/2:11PM: bambam?

Jinyoungiie not jr/2:12PM: mark?

Jaebumiie/2:12PM: MARK HYUNG!

 

5 mins later

 

Jinyoungiie not jr/2:20PM: did you find the culprit? 

Jaebumiie/2:21PM: brb trying to bleach my eyes

Jinyoungiie not jr/2:22PM: did you walk into coco’s parents?

Jaebumiie/2:23PM: I RAISED YOUNGJAE WITH EVERYTHING I HAD HE IS MY PRECIOUS SON

Jinyoungiie not jr/2:32PM: it’s okay, there there

Jaebumiie/2:24PM: NO YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND YOUNGJAE WAS THE ONE WHO ATE MY COOKIES! I SAW HIM EAT MY COOKIES!

Jinyoungiie not jr/2:25PM: looks like you spoiled your son

Jaebumiie/2:25PM: OUR SON

Jinyoungiie not jr/2:26PM: no thanks bye


	9. Nine

Jinyoungiie not jr/7:00PM: are you okay?

Jaebumiie/7:01PM: i am fine

Jinyoungiie not jr/7:02PM: you didn’t look like it. did i do something? 

Jaebumiie/7:03PM: no

Jinyoungiie not jr/7:03PM: yes i did, you seemed upset at me. what did i do?

Jaebumiie/7:04PM: nothing

Jinyoungiie not jr/7:04PM: i’ll go ask jackson why you’re upset then

Jaebumiie/7:05PM: why do you hate my fake lip piercings? 

Jinyoungiie not jr/7:05PM: is IT ABOUT ME TEASING YOU FOR WEARING THEM?

Jaebumiie/7:06PM: why do you hate them?

Jinyoungiie not jr/7:06PM: jesus Jaebum hyung, I don’t hate them. i think you look cute. 

Jaebumiie/7:07PM: BUT YOU LAUGHED AT ME

Jinyoungiie not jr/7:08pm: IT’S CAUSE YOU’RE ADORABLE 

Jaebumiie/7:09PM: you sure? 

Jinyoungiie not jr/7:10PM: yes, don’t actually pierce your lips though.

Jaebumiie/7:10PM: WHY NOT??? SEE? YOU HATE THEM!

Jinyoungiie not jr/7:11PM: no, they’re annoying when we kiss.

Jaebumiie/7:12PM: oh

Jinyoungiie not jr/7:12PM: i like your lips without them

Jaebumiie/7:13PM: got it, i won’t pierce my lips and i won’t wear them when we kiss.

Jinyoungiie not jr/7:14PM: i can’t believe you were sulking over this

Jaebumiie/7:14PM: I LIKE THEM A LOT OKAY??

Jinyoungiie not jr/7:15PM: sure “imjbrawr2k12”

Jaebumiie/7:15PM: you’re bullying me 

Jinyoungiie not jr/7:16PM: i know.


	10. Ten

Jaebumiie/9:05PM: i think we should stop going to the gym

Jinyoungiie not jr/9:06PM: what? why?

Jaebumiie/9:07PM: because our relationship IS FIT

Jinyoungiie not jr/9:07PM: hyung, the saddest part of this is is that i laughed

Jaebumiie/9:08PM: i know, my puns are amazing.

Jinyoungiie not jr/9:09PM: not so sure about that.

Jaebumiie/9:10PM: then why did you laugh?

Jinyoungiie not jr/9:11PM: because i imagined you coming up to me and saying it with that grin of yours. 

Jaebumiie/9:12PM: wow thanks for boosting my self confidence 

Jinyoungiie not jr/9:13PM: you know i love your smile

Jaebumiie/9:14PM: sure. 

Jaebumiie/9:24PM: when are you coming back?

Jinyoungiie not jr/9:25PM: it’ll be a little late. it’s too foggy to shoot outside.

Jaebumiie/9:25PM: alright.

Jinyoungiie not jr/9:26PM: I miss you

Jaebumiie/9:26PM: I miss you too


	11. Eleven

Jaebumiie/11:02AM: NOTHING CAN STOP US TONIGHT

Jinyoungiie not jr/11:03AM: they never did

Jaebumiie/11:04AM: BAIIILLAMOOOSSSSS

Jinyoungiie not jr/11:04AM: oh, looks like nothing is happening tonight

Jaebumiie/11:05AM: don’t lie, everyone jams to that

Jinyoungiie not jr/11:05AM: i do not

Jaebumiie/11:06AM: yes you do

Jinyoungiie not jr/11:06AM: i do not

Jaebumiie/11:07AM: yes you do, i saw you

Jinyoungiie not jr/11:08AM: i do not, you saw nothing, good day.

Jaebumiie/11:08AM: mmmm baby but your hips DON’T LIE, i remember what i saw

Jinyoungiie not jr/11:09AM: you weren’t wearing your glasses

Jaebumiie/11:10AM: how do you know? did you see me? did you move like that on purpose, Jinyoung-ah?

Jinyoungiie not jr/11:11AM: now is not the time. I didn’t see you and you saw nothing (make a wish)

Jaebumiie/11:12AM: okay but you can’t erase my memory (i wish to see you again)

Jinyoungiie not jr/11:13AM: lets make a deal (I am not dead)

Jaebumiie/11:14AM: gimme what you got

Jinyoungiie not jr/11:15AM: you shut up and i do WHATever you want to do tonight

Jaebumiie/11:16AM: shit now is really not the time for this conversation

Jinyoungiie not jr/11:16AM: told you

Jaebumiie/11:17AM: we have a deal

Jinyoungiie not jr/11:18AM: deal


	12. Twelve

Jaebumiie/8:30PM: wanna try eating a clock?

Jinyoungiie not jr/8:31PM: ....no

Jaebumiie/8:32PM: i hear it’s very time consuming 

Jinyoungiie not jr/8:33PM: you really want that divorce then huh?

Jaebumiie/8:33PM: you like my puns

Jinyoungiie not jr/8:34PM: oh yeah?

Jaebumiie/8:34PM: yes, because you’re sitting right on the other side and i can see your smile

Jinyoungiie not jr/8:35PM: it’s a pity smile and i am laughing at how stupid you are

Jaebumiie/8:36PM: but your smile grew bigger

Jinyoungiie not jr/8:36PM: you’re such a nerd

Jaebumiie/8:37PM: i love your smile

Jinyoungiie not jr/8:38PM: stop being such a cheesy person

Jaebumiie/8:38PM: but it’s the truth

Jinyoungiie not jr/8:39PM: i get it, stop

Jaebumiie/8:40PM: no but your eyes winkle up so beautifully 

Jinyoungiie not jr/8:41PM: shut up and come over here and sit next to me so that i can stomp on your foot

Jaebumiie/8:42PM: i’d love that

Jinyoungiie not jr/8:43PM: you’re not even trying to hide your kinks anymore


	13. Thirteen (YugBam)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since most people were not against YugBam and MarkJae, I have decided to put a vast majority of YugBam into this fic along with JJP and a little bit of MarkJae. Thanks to everyone who gave their feedback.

dabdab/6:36PM: i think i gained weight

brownie aka hit the stage/6:37PM: it’s not April yet, why are you trying to throw jokes?

dabdab/6:38PM: do you want to die? I think i gained some weight

brownie aka hit the stage/6:39PM: well sure “mr. I never gain weight no matter what I eat”

dabdab/6:40PM: it’s A BAD THING

brownie aka hit the stage/6:41PM: mhhmmm as for someone who gains weight from breathing I do not want to hear it

dabdab/6:42PM: yeah but what if I had a thicker ass

brownie aka hit the stage/6:42PM: YOUR ASS IS JUST FINE

dabdab/6:44PM: yeah but wouldn’t you want a bigger ass?

brownie aka hit the stage/6:44PM: no thanks my ass is fine

dabdab/6:45PM: NO I MEANT ON ME

brownie aka hit the stage/6:46PM: oh, I LOVE THE WAY YOU ARE.

brownie aka hit the stage/6:47PM: you do you. It’s your body. Your opinions matter not mine.

dabdab/6:47PM: stop being so morally correct wtf you’re only 19

brownie aka hit the stage/6:48AM: stop worrying about your body so much

dabdab/6:49PM: you too idiot, you’re not fat

brownie aka hit the stage/6:50PM: <3 

dabdab/6:50PM: <3 <3


	14. Fourteen

Jaebumiie/11:05PM: what does Donald Trump say when he pulls out his last card?

Jinyoungiie not jr/11:26PM: Trump Card

Jaebumiie/11:27PM: you’re no fun anymore

Jinyoungiie not jr/11:28PM: i’ve known you long enough to know your puns

Jaebumiie/11:29PM: do you know me long enough to know I have more puns?

Jinyoungiie not jr/11:29PM: I know you long enough to know you’ll cry when I divorce you

Jaebumiie/11:30PM: can’t argue there

Jinyoungiie not jr/11:31PM: get some shame

Jaebumiie/11:31PM: love has no boundaries 

Jinyoungiie not jr/11:32PM: my parents called today

Jaebumiie/11:33PM: oh, and?

Jinyoungiie not jr/11:34PM: they invited us over

Jaebumiie/11:35PM: i am sure Jackson will be jumping at invitation

Jinyoungiie not jr/11:35PM: no, just us, the two of us

Jaebumiie/11:36PM: oh, is it time for me to officially ask for your hand?

Jinyoungiie not jr/11:37PM: you already had it somewhere long last night

Jaebumiie/11:37PM: please keep it PG, at least try

Jinyoungiie not jr/11:38PM: i try all the time. i didn’t say dick or penis. kind of.

Jaebumiie/11:39PM: kind of


	15. Fifteen (All Ships)

Wang pup/11:55PM: Dabdab i found a tumblr blog dedicated to your butt

Dabdab/11:56PM: I also found one for Jinyoung hyung

Jaebumiie/11:56PM: why are you two on social media? (send me the link)

Wang pup/11:57PM: tumblr isn’t social media (and what happened to “I don’t need social media”?)

Jinyoungiie not jr/11:57PM: i sometimes feel like my butt is more famous than i am

Wang pup/11:58PM: is that a bad thing?

Jaebumiie/11:58PM: yes it is. 

brownie aka hit the stage/11:59PM: possessive much?

Jaebumiie/12:00AM: your boyfriend doesn’t even like you talking to jungkook aka your only friend who doesn’t hate you

Jinyoungiie not jr/12:01AM: chill

Jaebumiie/12:02AM: where is the link? @dabdab

Dabdab/12:03AM: what do i get?

Jaebumiie/12:04AM: what do you want?

Jinyoungiie not jr/12:04AM: why do you want the link when you have the real one?

Coco’s mum/12:05AM: i shouldn’t have opened this group chat. how to do I un-traumatize myself

Wang pup/12:06AM: is that even a word?

Coco’s dad/12:06AM: yes it is

Wang pup/12:07AM: everyone here is fucking whipped


	16. Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi

leaderJB/8:22PM: What did the bear use to kill the human?

hitthestage/8:22PM: Uh his teeth?

leaderJb/8:23PM: nothing, just his BEAR hands

hitthestage/8:24PM: I am sorry but why am I being victimized here?

leaderJB/8:25PM: how dare you look down upon my puns, praise my skills, peasant

hitthestage/8:25PM: did Jinyoung hyung warn to divorce you if you say more puns? 

leaderJB/8:26PM: what nOO!? 

hitthestage/8:26PM: sure thing. 

leaderJB/8:28PM: you cried cause Bambam was very friendly with jackson last night. JaCkSOOn.

hitthestage/8:29PM: wow I didn’t know your glasses broke grandpa

leaderJB/8:30PM: i am your father you insolent offspring

*hitthestage has added ActorActorJinyoung to the group*

ActorJinyoung/8:33PM: why am i here?

hitthestage/8:33PM: take your husband away from me.

ActorJinyoung/8:35PM: are you bothering the kids with puns?

defsoul/8:36PM: what are puns?

ActorJinyoung/8:37PM: jesus christ i told you not to use puns

defsoul/8:38PM: WITH YOU!! NOT ! WITH! EVERYONE! ELSE!

ActorJinyoung/8:38PM: you are prohibited from using puns with anyone in this household

defsoul/8:39PM: ......I don’t deserve this

hitthestage/8:40PM: lmao

ActorJinyoung/8:41PM: apart from me

defsoul/8:41PM: ??

hitthestage/8:41PM: oh my god

ActorJinyoung/8:42PM: only I am allowed to be victimized by your puns.

defsoul/8:43PM: did you just...ask me to....give you more puns?? I CAN GIVE YOU PUNS???

ActorJinyoung/8:43PM: oh look, you have learnt how to read

defsoul/8:44PM: KASDJDSJNDSNKSJDN

hitthestage/8:45PM: I think he just had a stroke

ActorJinyoung/8:46PM: good. He is only allowed to give his puns to me.

hitthestage/8:47PM: possessive much?

ActorJinyoung/8:47PM: bambam is out with Mingyu and you weren’t even invited

hitthestage/8:47PM: :)) oh okay.

ActorJinyoung/8:48PM: okay okay calm down I lied

ActorJinyoung/8:49PM:Yugyeom?

ActorJinyoung/8:51PM: WTF KID DID YOU JUST RUN OUT OF THE HOUSE?

ActorJinyoung/8:52PM: OH MY GOD DON’T KILL MINGYU 

defsoul/8:53PM: RIP

ActorJinyoung/8:54PM: DON’T ENCOURAGE HIMNDSJBNSDH


	17. Seventeen (MarkJae)

Coco’s dad/5:00PM: send me nudes

coco’s mom/5:02PM: ????

coco’s dad/5:03PM: I meant pics, send me your selfies

coco’s mom/5:04PM: how can “pics” turn into “nudes”?

coco’s dad/5:04PM: autocorrect, it’s a new phone

coco’s mom/5:05PM: of course hyung, of course.

coco’s dad/5:06PM: come on, send me one of your selfies

coco’s mom/5:07PM: you literally see me EVERYDAY and we LITERALLY are in the same room, why are you texting me?

coco’s dad/5:07PM: because I suck at words when it comes to verbal speech

coco’s mom/5:08PM: now that’s not true

coco’s dad/5:09PM: we often have nothing to talk about

coco’s mom/5:10PM: we don’t have to speak all the time. just being with each other is a wonderful feeling isn’t it?

coco’s dad/5:11PM: yeah, you’re right

coco’s mom/5:11PM: do you still want that nude?

coco’s dad/5:12PM: ....

coco’s mom/5:13PM: I meant “pics”

coco’s dad/5:13PM: you’re an asshole Youngjae


	18. Eighteen (YugBam)

Dabdab/8:20PM: Why did you run out of the house the other day? it was shit snowing

brownie aka hitthestage/8:21PM: just wanted to go for a run

dabdab/8:22PM: in your casual clothes? with no manager? in the middle of a snowy night?

Brownie aka hitthestage/8:22PM: I do what I want okay

dabdab/8:23PM: what exactly are you hiding?

brownie aka hitthestage/8:23PM: the fact that I am secretly the snow queen

dabdab/8:24PM: that’s not a secret Yugyeom

brownie aka hitthestage/8:29PM: do you want to go grab dinner tomorrow? 

dabdab/8:30PM: outside? We always have dinner at home though.

brownie aka hitthestage/8:31PM: go out for a change maybe? you want to go bowling as well?

dabdab/8:32PM: excuse me but are you trying to make up for taking Jungkook out?

brownie aka hitthestage/8:33PM: NO! I just wanted to go out with you!

dabdab/8:33PM: what the fuck happened the other day?

brownie aka hitthestage/8:34PM: nothing

dabdab/8:35PM: look, I know I was being extra to the point where I stood in the middle of you two but YOU HAVE TO HAVE FRIENDS APART FROM ME OKAY. I was just being extra. I am not mad.

brownie aka hitthestage/8:35PM: just go out with me okay? the two of us and no cameras.

dabdab/8:36PM: okay okay

brownie aka hitthestage/8:37PM: you’re the best

dabdab/8:38PM: I am extremely confused 

brownie aka hitthestage/8:39PM: <3


	19. Nineteen

Jaebumiie/12:03AM: aren’t you going to ask why i didn’t kiss you at the museum in America?

Jinyoungiie/12:03AM: do I want to?

Jaebumiie/12:04AM: yes you do

Jinyoungiie/12:05AM: okay, why didn’t you kiss me?

Jaebumiie/12:05AM: because they said not to touch the art

Jinyoungiie/12:06AM: i literally predicted it

Jaebumiie/12:06AM: it’s been years after all

Jinyoungiie/12:07AM: yeah, eight.

Jaebumiie/12:07AM: are we that old?

Jinyoungiie/12:08AM: no but we’re an old couple

Jaebumiie/12:09AM: three times more domestic

Jinyoungiie/12:10AM: still very sexually active

Jaebumiie/12:11AM: this was supposed to be an emotional flash back

Jinyoungiie/12:11AM: to when I used to pick fights with you?

Jaebumiie/12:12AM: i should have kissed you to shut you up

Jinyoungiie/12:12AM: well, you can do it now by getting your ass in my room

Jaebumiie/12:13AM: there <3


	20. Twenty (Platonic JaeBam)

Jaebumiie/9:02AM: what did the notebook say to the other notebook?

bambam/9:05AM: ??? wtf?

Jaebumiie/9:06AM: NOTing (noting? nothing? get it?)

bambam/9:07AM: aren’t you banned from making puns with anyone apart from jinyoung hyung?

Jaebumiie/9:09AM: yeah, I gave him the pun first and he smacked me with his book

bambam/9:10AM: can’t say you don’t deserve it

Jaebumiie/9:11AM: i deserve to be loved

bambam/9:11AM: you are loved

Jaebumiie/9:12AM: speaking of love, do you have anyone you love?

bambam/9:13AM: ....

bambam/9:14AM: who the fuck are you playing for? 

Jaebumiie/9:15AM: I AM JUST ASKING AS YOUR FATHER IT IS MY RIGHT!

bambam/9:16AM: AS YOUR SON I DESERVE PRIVACY

Jaebumiie/9:17AM: JUST TELL ME

bambam/9:18AM: I AM NOT STUPID! WHO ASKED YOU???

Jaebumiie/9:19AM: NO ONE

bambam/9:19AM: since when do YOU care?

Jaebumiie/9:20AM: *gasps* how could you! I ALWAYS care!

bambam/9:21AM: yes yes I know.

bambam/9:21AM: have I been obvious lately?

Jaebumiie/9:22AM: so it is Yugyeom.

bambam/9:23AM: pretty sure the entire world knows apart from the man himself

Jaebumiie/9:24AM: he is oblivious 

bambam/9:25AM: perfectly your son

Jaebumiie/9:26AM: is this household called “how to bully Jaebum 101” now? 

bambam/9:27AM: it’s a household of honesty


	21. Twenty One

Jaebumiieiie/12:02PM: what did the goat say to the other goat before leaving?

Jinyoungiie/12:03PM: no thanks bye

Jaebumiie/12:04PM: GOATto go.

Jinyoungiie/12:05PM: i suddenly feel like having lamb skewers 

Jaebumiie/12:05PM: we could order some

Jinyoungiie/12:06PM: wow sherlock, really?

Jaebumiie/12:07PM: or do you want to go out and eat it?

Jinyoungiie/12:08PM: it’s really cold outside.

Jaebumiie/12:08PM: we could send the maknae line to bring it for us

Jinyoungiie/12:09PM: for them to return with nothing but empty cartons? No

Jaebumiie/12:10PM: point taken

Jinyoungiie/12:11PM: why did we end up with the most troublesome maknaes? why do I even love them?

Jaebumiie/12:12PM: you sound like their mother.

Jinyoungiie/12:13PM: I am their mother

Jaebumiie/12:14PM: well at least we don’t have Jungkook as our maknae. that kid looks like he could beat the living shit out of everyone

Jinyoungiie/12:15PM: he is harmless and very well mannered excuse you

Jaebumiie/12:16PM: that’s what Jin hyung said about Yugyeom

Jinyoungiie/12:16PM: the world is a lie

Jaebumiie/12:17PM: poetic Park Jinyoungiie back at it again


	22. Twenty Two (MarkJae)

Coco’s Dad/9:25AM: i am out to buy ice-cream, do you want one?

Coco’s Mom/9:26AM: I want two

Coco’s Dad/9:28AM: which flavors?

Coco’s Mom/9:29AM: strawberry and banana

Coco’s Dad/9:30AM: ...do banana flavored ice-creams exist?

Coco’s Mom/9:31AM: ....you have never had banana flavored ice-cream before?

Coco’s Dad/9:34AM: I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THEY EXISTED

Coco’s Mom/9:35AM: DO NOT SPEAK WITH ME UNTIL YOU HAVE ONE

Coco’s Dad/9:36AM: IT’S NOT A BIG DEAL

Coco’s Mom/9:37AM: okay you have a point but you should really have one

Coco’s Dad/9:40AM: we can share one

Coco’s Mom/9:42AM: ...

Coco’s Dad/9:42AM: okay okay you can have the whole thing, i’ll get myself another one

Coco’s Mom/9:43AM: thanks hyung! you’re the best

Coco’s Dad/9:43AM: can i get a kiss when i get back?

Coco’s Mom/9:45AM: you can have two

Coco’s Dad/9:45AM: jesus, almost there.


	23. Twenty Three (YugBam)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> opps i wonder what's going on

idiot/12:02PM: are you ignoring me?

dabdab/12:03PM: no

idiot/12:03PM: you left the dorm before i could even wake up, on a day off.

dabdab/12:05PM: i just wanted to go out for a walk

idiot/12:06PM: it’s been three hours. i got a text from the manager to apologize to you if I have upset you.

dabdab/12:07PM: what I can’t be out for a walk now?

idiot/12:08PM: calm down, did I do something? I am sorry if I have

dabdab/12:09PM: it’s nothing. i just don’t feel like being inside.

idiot/12:10PM: can i join you? where are you guys?

dabdab/12:10PM: and I want to be alone

idiot/12:12PM: you are ignoring me Bam, you never go for an “alone” time without telling me, we know everything about each other, remember?

dabdab/12:13PM: yeah, yeah I am sorry i am just a bit stressed out. i’ll be back in a few.

idiot/12:13PM: i ordered chicken for us, you and me.

dabdab/12:14PM: shit i have to be back before Jaebum hyung gets the scent of it

idiot/12:15PM: RUN I CAN’T HIDE IT MUCH LONGER

Dabdab/12:15PM: I CAN’T RUN IN MY LOUISVITON 

idiot/12:16PM: ISTG WHO WALKS IN THEIR LV???

dabdab/12:17PM: I DO OKAY FASHION IS IMPORTANT

idiot/12:17PM: HURRY JAEBUM HYUNG IS HERE

dabdab/12:18PM: FUCK IT I AM RUNNING


	24. Twenty Four

Jaebumiie/12:55PM: what do you call a fish who is self-centered?

Jinyoungiie/1:58PM: my dinner

Jaebumiie/12:59PM: (whoa there calm down) SHELL-FISH (Selfish, get it?)

Jinyoungiie/1:00PM: who even comes up with such shit?

Jaebumiie/1:00PM: i do. fear me.

Jinyoungiie/1:02PM: is that how you talk to your wife?

Jaebumiie/1:03PM: I am sorry please don’t send me to jail

Jinyoungiie/1:05PM: how come we have never had prison kink sex?

Jaebumiie/1:06PM: I am concerned about your bravery when it comes to exploration of kinks

Jinyoungiie/1:06PM: fear me

Jaebumiie/1:07PM: i am done with everyone in this family

Jinyoungiie/1:08PM: you cry when we’re not around

Jaebumiie/1:09PM: I DO NOT CRY

Jinyoungiie/1:10PM: sure thing honey. 

Jaebumiie/1:12PM: maybe a little. like i miss the boys often. that’s so weird.

Jinyoungiie/1:13PM: no it’s not. We love you just as much as you love us. 

Jaebumiie/1:14PM: this wasn’t supposed to be emo

Jinyoungiie/1:15PM: says someone with emo hair

Jaebumiie/1:16PM: sorry for not being prince charming 

Jinyoungiie/1:18PM: at least you made it as the butler

Jaebumiie/1:19PM: aren’t i lucky? yes i am

Jinyoungiie1:19PM/: <3


	25. Twenty Five (MarkJae)

Coco’s Dad/2:02AM: can you believe Yuggie and bam had chicken without us?

Coco’s Mome/2:03AM: did Jinyoung hyung and Jackson hyung take over your soul?

Coco’s Dad/2:04AM: i am upset that my dongsaengs didn’t invite me

Coco’s Dad/2:04AM: for FREE chicken

Coco’s Mome/2:05AM: ....Jinyoungiie hyung and I had cake together the other day.....

Coco’s Dad/2:06AM: ....

Coco’s Mome/2:06AM: it just happened

Coco’s Dad/2:07AM: you had cake without me. I see.

Coco’s Mome/2:07AM: HYUNG IT’S JUST CAKE

Coco’s Dad/2:08AM: i see you don’t love me anymore.

Coco’s Mome/2:09AM: oh my god why did I even bring it up

Coco’s Dad/2:10AM: I AM OLD AND I WANT TO BE LOVED OKAY

Coco’s Mome/2:11AM: YOU’RE NOT EVEN TWENTY FOUR YET IN INTERNATIONAL AGE

Coco’s Dad/2:12AM: GIVE ME SOME LOVE

Coco’s Mome/2:13AM: I always give you my love

Coco’s Dad/2:14AM: i demand for kisses once i visit

Coco’s Mome/2:15AM: i demand for some peace after that?

Coco’s Dad/2:16AM: i prefer you moaning 

Coco’s Mome/2:16AM: jesus christ we’re not having this conversation rn

Coco’s Dad/2:17AM: you love me

Coco’s Mome/2:17AM: i do


	26. Twenty Six (YugBam)

Idiot/5:25PM: what do you call your stick girlfriend? 

Dabdab/5:26PM: Jaebum hyung give Yuggie back his phone

Idiot/5:26PM: a side STICK (not a side chick)

dabdab/5:27PM: I am blocking you

idiot/5:28PM: IT’S FUNNY!

dabdab/5:30PM: Stay away from Jaebum hyung’s bullshit I am not tolerating this

idiot/5:31PM: i’ll tell him you called his puns bullshit

dabdab/5:32PM: I’ll tell Jinyoung hyung you used his hair products and stole his favorite soap and didn’t even use it

idiot/5:33PM: do you not love me?

dabdab/5:33PM: shut up

idiot/5:45PM: hey

dabdab/5:45PM: hi

idiot/5:48PM: I love you.

Dabdab/5:51PM: me too

idiot/5:52PM: No, like not as a friend. I like you in a very homo way. I don’t want us to be “soul mates” as a joke anymore. I really love you and I want to be with you. I know this is sudden and very weird considering I am supposed to be your best friend but I love you so much Bam i don’t know where to begin.

dabdab/5:53PM: did you just confess your undying love for me via a text?

idiot/5:53PM: yes because I am a wuss to do it IRL

dabdab/5:59PM: I love you too.

idiot/6:00PM: KODSAJSDAIWFADSJASDSFSJBSF I ALMOST DIED HERE

dabdab/6:02PM: i was literally dropping hints that i love you for so long but you were too dumb to catch on

idiot/6:03PM: NSDJNDSANSADNJSDAJ I AM SORRY

dabdab/6:04PM: Take me out on a date instead

idiot/6:05PM: by that you mean take you shopping?

dabdab/6:06PM: yes

idiot/6:06PM: i’d love to

dabdab/6:07PM: you’re not allowed to be cheesy

idiot/6:08PM: you like it

dabdab/6:09PM: yeah, I guess I do.


	27. Twenty Seven

Jaebumiie/4:55PM: do you sometimes look at kids and go “thank god I don’t have exams anymore”?

Jinyoungiee/4:56PM: y e s

Jaebumiie/4:58PM: but then you realize you have to pay taxes with the money you could buy so much ramen with?

Jinyoungiee/4:59PM: well that escalated. I was not hoping for an existential crisis from you.

Jaebumiie/5:00PM: are you saying I am not deep enough?

Jinyoungiee/5:01PM: I do gag

Jaebumiie/5:02PM: JINYOUNGIEE NO!!

Jinyoungiee/5:02PM: JINYOUNG Y E S

Jinyoungiee/5:03PM: also i do think you’re DEEP enough but I didn’t think you were capable of having contemplating thoughts in broad daylight

Jaebumiie/5:04PM HEY! I am very smart!

Jinyoungiee/5:05PM: your math results beg to differ

Jaebumiie/5:05PM: fine. you win.

Jinyoungiee/5:09PM: are you sulking?

Jaebumiie/5:09PM: no

Jinyoungiee/5:10PM: I CAN SEE YOU POUT

Jaebumiie/5:10PM: I AM SMART

Jinyoungiee/5:11PM: Of course you are. You’re our leader.

Jaebumiie/5:12PM: kiss me

Jinyoungiee/5:13PM: coming


	28. Twenty Eight (Group Chat)

dabdab/5:05PM: guys this is old stuff but did you guys see that girl on twitter who did her makeup with her boyfriend’s balls?

HitTheStage/5:06PM: WTF??

Mom™/5:08PM: kink shaming isn’t very nice you know

DaD™/5:09PM: well you could say she is NUTS

still coco’s dad/5:10PPM why you always gotta be one up me man??? 

mr.swagger/5:11PM: STOP THIS WE HAVE CHILDREN IN THE HOUSE

DaD™/5:11PM: the “children” were the ones who brought this up

mr.swagger/5:13PM: ....I want refund


	29. Twenty Nine (MarkJae)

still coco’s dad/9:36PM: I caught yuggie and bam having a full on make out session

coco’s mom/9:36PM: oh my god holy shit did you take black mail photos?

still coco’s dad/9:37PM: YOUNGJAE????????

coco’s mom/9:38PM: i mean oh my god i am so happy for them

still coco’s dad/9:38PM: CHANING THE SENTENCE WON’T DELETE THE PREVIOUS MESSAGE

coco’s mom/8:39PM: IT’S JUST A THOUGHT OKAY???? 

still coco’s dad/8:40PM: i’ll take a short clip next time

coco’s mom/8:41PM: and that is why we’re dating

still coco’s dad/8:41PM: <3


	30. Thirty (YugBam)

HitTheStage/5:14PM: hey Bam are you gravity? 

BabyBoy/5:14PM: ??? Is this a horrible pickup line?

HitTheStage/5:15PM: because I am being pulled down by your force

BabyBoy/5:16PM: but wasn’t it me who was on their knees last night?

HitTheStage/5:16PM: BAM!! IT’S BROAD DAY LIGHT!! StOp

BabyBoy/5:17PM: what are you being embarrassed for? you were enjoying yourself last night

HitTheStage/5:18PM: can we not have this conversation at work??

BabyBoy/5:18PM: whatever daddy says

HitTheStage/5:19PM: I--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was wondering if you guys wanted this to come to an end??? It's been a while. I hope you guys are not bored by them.


	31. Thirty One

Jaebumiie/9:09PM: a guy tried to switch his job from a gymnast to an accountant 

jinyong/9:09PM: doesn’t sound like a good idea

Jaebumiie/9:10PM: it didn’t turn out well

Knife Wife/9:10PM: expected

Jaebumiie/9:11PM: i guess you could say he wasn’t very FLEXIBLE

Knife Wife/9:13PM: also expected

Jaebumiie/9:14PM: tHat’s a LiE, there is no way you expected my superior pun

Knife Wife/9:14PM: it’s not even funny let alone superior

Jaebumiie/9:15PM: well aren’t you fun at parties

Knife Wife/9:16PM: you and I both know we don’t go to parties. nobody likes us.

Jaebumiie/9:16PM: i am very much liked.

Knife Wife/9:17PM: by jacskoN

Jaebumiie/9:18PM: and you

Knife Wife/9:18PM: and me


	32. Thirty Two (YugBam)

BabyBoy/5:03AM: hey

HitTheStage/5:05AM: hey

BabyBoy/5:05AM: listen

HitTheStage/5:06AM: yes?

BabyBoy/5:11AM: okay so

HitTheStage/5:12AM: YeS???

BabyBoy/5:13AM: if jungkook and i fell into the water who would you save?

HitTheStage/5:15AM: Bambam....what is this?? it’s five in the morning

BabyBoy/5:16AM: i am just asking. who would you save?

HitTheStage/5:17AM: I’d save you both.

BabyBoy/5:17AM: wow asshole you couldn’t even be nice and say you’d save me

BabyBoy/5:17AM: way to go

HitTheStage/5:19AM: here is the thing

HitTheStage/5:19AM: i wouldn’t save you

BabyBoy/5:20AM: ??????

HitTheStage/5:21AM: it’s because I’d make sure you never fall in the first place

BabyBoy/5:21AM: i am breaking up with you

HitTheStage/5:22AM: NDJNDN WHAT diD I D o NOW????

BabyBoy/5:22AM: shut up and go get me ramen

HitTheStage/5:23AM: you won’t break up with me then?

BabyBoy/5:23AM: we’ll see


	33. Thirty Three (Group Chat)

ActorPark/: what do you call Robin Hood in present continuous?

WangPup/: you don’t, cause it’s a pronoun and not a verb

ActorPark/: what do you call Robin Hood in present continuous?

WangPup/: I am sorry, I do not know.

StillCoco’sDad/: I KNOW I KNOW

Jaebum/: SHUT UP HYUNG I KNOW

DabDab/: wait why is  Jinyoung hyung sending puns now?

HitTheStage/: don’t they say you become the person you love after being for so long?

Coco’smomandyourstoo/: yet bambam  still short

StillCoco’sDad/: LMAO BURN

HitTheStage/: S H U T U P you guys

Jaebum/: IT’S ROBBING HOOD!!!!!

ActorPark/: It’s my first original pun which Jaebum hadn’t made before and yet, he beat me in the game.

jaebum/: I am the king of puns

HitTheStage/: king of unwanted dad jokes

DabDab/: you’re a joke.

HitTheStage/: WHY  AM I BEING ATTACKED?

DabDab/: WHY AM I NOT TALL YET??????

StillCoco’ Dad/: oh my god @Coco’s mom and yours too you caused a couple fight

Coco’smomandyourstoo/: not my problem bye

HitTheStage/: i hate all of you. Except for Bam of course.

DabDab/: well too bad cause I hate you


	34. ENDING

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go, that's the ending folks.

Jaebum: We did it.

Jinyoung: We have done it.

Jaebum: I am proud of you.

Jinyoung: And I am proud of you.

Jaebum: You were as amazing as ever.

Jinyoung: Everything you did was so mesmerizing as always.

Jaebum: Is this a session where we boost about each other?

Jinyoung: This is a couple’s session where we love each other.

Jaebum: Usually, I am the cheesy one.

Jinyoung: You can’t always be the cheesy one.

Jaebum: Well, it is true, not everything lasts forever.

Jinyoung: Except for my beauty.

Jaebum: And your amazing impact in this world.

Jinyoung: We will be forgotten over time. One day, we will a part of history.

Jaebum: Hopefully, we will be inspiring others’ to follow their true dreams.

Jinyoung: We are doing it, to others and each other.

Jaebum: One day, that will end too, won't’ it?

Jinyoung: Not everything lasts. But it’s not “Today Tomorrow”. We will be together for much longer. As long as we go “On and On”, I will be “Coming Home” to you

Jaebum: ...

Jaebum: DID YOU JUST???!?!?!?!

Jaebum: DID YOU JUST RUIN THE MOMENT INSTEAD OF ME????

Jinyoung: I love you too.

Jaebum: I love me too, only because I was able to “Find You”

Jinyoung: I am blocking you.

Jaebum: I love you too.


End file.
